Where Foreigners Fear To Tread

Japan scares me.

Not as a society or culturally. But even after six years here, I'm still a stranger in a strange land. I know most of it has to do with not knowing Japanese. Yes, I've been here for more than half a decade and my Japanese level is still the same as it was when I arrived. Maybe even worse. But that is (or is not) another post. I admit that sometimes I am afraid to go out my door.

A lot of times, especially on weekends, I create a little bubble around myself. Most of the time it isn't on purpose. I just get to watching movies or TV, listening to music, reading, and it is all in English. Then it's a quick jaunt to 7-11 and I'm reminded I'm half a world away from where I grew up as soon as the clerk opens her mouth to welcome me to the store.

It's this fear and dislocation that often prevents me from trying new places. Case in point was Cafe Ange, a little coffee shop only a few hundred meters away from the door to my apartment's lobby. I have passed by numerous times and always told myself I would go in. Months passed and I never did. Last week I plucked up my courage and went in. The inside was very beautiful, although how you can mess up a BLT sandwich is beyond me. The point is, I had to force myself to go. Sure, it's a little cafe but when you can't read or pronounce 90% of what's on the menu, it's a daunting task.

I've realized that since I've been married, I rely on Yoko quite a bit; possibly more than I should. Living on my own, I was forced to interact with postal clerks and waiters. Now, I just put off what I need to do until Yoko and I can do it together. That's not good. I need to regain a bit of my independence. But when someone makes your life easier in a foreign land, you find yourself leaning on them more and more.

I'm not blaming her. Also, I love Japan, as many of my friends (here and abroad) will attest to. But I admit I sometimes have to make a conscious effort to get out the front door.

As always, thanks for reading.

Not my lunch at Cafe Ange. This is a nice breakfast at Primavera.

Christmas In Translation

Last year, I wrote a Christmas post for another author's blog. It got a few good comments so I'm deciding to repost it here on Resonant Blue.

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Flashing Christmas lights decorate the store windows. Malls and restaurants are playing Christmas music and snow will soon be falling in the northern climes. Presents are wrapped and greeting cards signed, and the KFC dinner is on the table for the big feast. (Insert screeching record sound here). Kentucky Fried Chicken? For Christmas dinner?! What's going on? Turkey and pumpkin pie may be staples of Christmas dinner in America, but it's KFC and Christmas cake in Japan.

I'm an expatriate living in Japan. I've been here just over five years, and I tell you, living overseas can be tough. Even when things are similar, like McDonald's, supermarkets, and Christmas, sometimes the little differences between what you’re use to and what the custom is, are the hardest to deal with.

Christmas in Japan is not a religious holiday. While Christianity is present in Japan, Buddhism and Shinto are the two dominant religions. Christmas came to Japan in the 1800s by missionaries and the first recorded Christmas was celebrated in my home prefecture of Yamaguchi, at the southern end of the big island. That being said, Christmas is looked on as a romantic holiday, more akin to America’s Valentine’s Day.

Couples often have romantic dinners, take walks to enjoy the light displays, and give each other a gift of affection. Romance is in the cold winter air, there’s a reason WHAM’s Last Christmas and Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You are among the most popular Christmas songs. Christmas is somewhat romantic in America also. It’s a time for friends and family, visiting each other’s relatives, maybe even popping the question on that perfect sleigh ride. I spent my first Christmas in Japan alone, with my two feet tall fake tree and some DVDs. But it didn’t get me down. I decorated the tree just like I use to in America, listening to Amy Grant Christmas music and putting the presents mom had mailed me under the tree. Sure, I was alone. But by doing the same holiday traditions in Japan I had done in America, I brought a little piece of home with me. Was it a bad Christmas? No. Just different.

Presents are another staple of Christmas and here in Japan, even this is different. There is no Black Friday or Cyber Monday here; in fact, my wife (who is Japanese) had never heard of these terms before. There are Christmas sales at the store but there is no loud push for you to buy, buy, buy and get that last-minute shopping done. Most people, even children, get one or two presents. That’s it. Sure, some get more, but the norm seems to be one or two. And Santa (whom Japanese kids think lives in Finland or Norway, maybe Greenland) doesn’t put their presents under the tree, which is typically three feet high; he puts them beside their pillow or on the floor at the head of their bed.

When it comes to food, that may be the biggest difference. Turkey is almost non-existent in Japan, and even if they did live here, there is no way they would fit in an average sized oven. Most Japanese people I have met have never eaten turkey in their life; for them, chicken is close enough. KFC runs specials on absolutely gorgeous Christmas dinners for the family and eating KFC on Christmas is usual. But if an American can’t live without turkey or pumpkin pie on Christmas, the Japanese can’t live without their Christmas cake. Often white with strawberries on top (sometimes chocolate or buttercream flavored as well) these are a holiday staple everyone eats every year. Every store, food shop, and convenience store sells these cakes and most of the time you have to order them.

But what is truly missing from Christmas in Japan is the rush: the madness to shop, shop, shop, the stress of getting every family member a gift, driving from store to store looking for the best deal. Christmas is just another holiday here, slightly more important that others, but not the biggest. It’s for the couples, for the romantics, for the parents to show some love to their kids.

That’s what I love most about Christmas: love. Christmas is more about love than Valentine’s Day. It’s the love of Christians for Jesus Christ. It’s the love Santa has for children, wanting to make boys and girls happy. It’s the love of humanity helping each other. It’s a season to love and be loved. And the slowness the Japanese have about the season, the emphasis on romance, is what made me like Christmas even more.

Teaching junior high students about Christmas and discussing differing customs with Japanese people made me realize I can make my own Christmas. Here in Japan, I got to introduce Christmas the way I wanted it to be. I don’t look at my waist high tree as puny, I look at it as the tree my wife and I bought together. She enjoys American music and I was able to introduce my tradition of listening to Amy Grant while we decorate. Her parents are delighted that I give them gifts for Christmas. I’ve eaten Japanese Christmas cake and looked at the Christmas lights while holding hands with my wife. I’ve made my own Christmas here. And when you’re living apart from everything familiar and comforting to you, that’s what you have to do. Make it your own. No matter where you are, Christmas is where you make it.

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As always, thanks for reading and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!