So I Married A Geek

I'm a geek.

And a recent purchase that my wife disagreed with got me thinking: how much should you change when you get married?

The romanticized answer is: "Nothing. You and your partner should love each for all that you are." That's all fine and good, but I think rarely works in the real-world. I purchased this Star Trek Archer flight jacket. I was sure my wife wouldn't like it; and sure enough, when I showed her the pictures, her face got her half disbelief/half disapproval expression.

This was a jacket I really wanted. I am tired of the same colors and style I have been wearing for years. I wanted a change, and if I did, I might as wear something I really wanted to. I wanted something that appealed to me. I had a limited time to get it at a discount before it went up to full price. I had to act fast or never get it at all. I got it.

Before I bought it, Yoko had asked me if I would buy it anyway, even if she didn't like it. I said 'yes.' But a part of me felt guilty. I wasn't doing this to spite her, it was a jacket I really liked and wanted. But Yoko hates geeky stuff. Figures, posters, merchandise with logos aren't her thing. 

Yoko knew I was a geek before we got married. While I often tease her with my gekkiness, I don't do anything to openly embarrass her. There are plenty of figures and posters I'd like to hang up that I don't out of respect for her. Our apartment is pretty geek-free.

Which begs the question: if you're a Trekkie, Nascar fan, or collect Hummel figurines, should you change that if your spouse doesn't like it? My answer is yes and no. I think the best result comes from understanding and compromise on both partners's parts. Don't try to change your spouse. If she is an Oreo fanatic, don't try to stop her from collecting Oreo merchandise and refuse to let her display it in the house. You should, in the nicest way possible, try to explain that you don't like it. But as the Oreo collector, you have to respect your partner's wishes. There is nothing to gain by parading something your spouse hates. But they need to understand it is a part of you. It's your likes and interests and make you who you are. But you may need to reel in your passion a bit if it openly clashes with your partner.

Until Yoko met me, she had never heard of a "man cave" and I think this is a great solution (for women too). A small out-of-the-way place for you to really be you. But, if you're like me, and can't have your own cave, try to balance your passions. Find tiny unobtrusive ways to showcase your interests without pushing it in your spouse's face. You may have to keep your life-sized T.A.R.D.I.S. replica in storage, but that doesn't mean you can't have a Doctor Who fridge magnet or something similar.

How about it, readers? Do your interests clash with your spouse's? How do you handle it? Any tips or advice? Comment below, and as always, thanks for reading.

Where Foreigners Fear To Tread

Japan scares me.

Not as a society or culturally. But even after six years here, I'm still a stranger in a strange land. I know most of it has to do with not knowing Japanese. Yes, I've been here for more than half a decade and my Japanese level is still the same as it was when I arrived. Maybe even worse. But that is (or is not) another post. I admit that sometimes I am afraid to go out my door.

A lot of times, especially on weekends, I create a little bubble around myself. Most of the time it isn't on purpose. I just get to watching movies or TV, listening to music, reading, and it is all in English. Then it's a quick jaunt to 7-11 and I'm reminded I'm half a world away from where I grew up as soon as the clerk opens her mouth to welcome me to the store.

It's this fear and dislocation that often prevents me from trying new places. Case in point was Cafe Ange, a little coffee shop only a few hundred meters away from the door to my apartment's lobby. I have passed by numerous times and always told myself I would go in. Months passed and I never did. Last week I plucked up my courage and went in. The inside was very beautiful, although how you can mess up a BLT sandwich is beyond me. The point is, I had to force myself to go. Sure, it's a little cafe but when you can't read or pronounce 90% of what's on the menu, it's a daunting task.

I've realized that since I've been married, I rely on Yoko quite a bit; possibly more than I should. Living on my own, I was forced to interact with postal clerks and waiters. Now, I just put off what I need to do until Yoko and I can do it together. That's not good. I need to regain a bit of my independence. But when someone makes your life easier in a foreign land, you find yourself leaning on them more and more.

I'm not blaming her. Also, I love Japan, as many of my friends (here and abroad) will attest to. But I admit I sometimes have to make a conscious effort to get out the front door.

As always, thanks for reading.

Not my lunch at Cafe Ange. This is a nice breakfast at Primavera.

Christmas In Translation

Last year, I wrote a Christmas post for another author's blog. It got a few good comments so I'm deciding to repost it here on Resonant Blue.

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Flashing Christmas lights decorate the store windows. Malls and restaurants are playing Christmas music and snow will soon be falling in the northern climes. Presents are wrapped and greeting cards signed, and the KFC dinner is on the table for the big feast. (Insert screeching record sound here). Kentucky Fried Chicken? For Christmas dinner?! What's going on? Turkey and pumpkin pie may be staples of Christmas dinner in America, but it's KFC and Christmas cake in Japan.

I'm an expatriate living in Japan. I've been here just over five years, and I tell you, living overseas can be tough. Even when things are similar, like McDonald's, supermarkets, and Christmas, sometimes the little differences between what you’re use to and what the custom is, are the hardest to deal with.

Christmas in Japan is not a religious holiday. While Christianity is present in Japan, Buddhism and Shinto are the two dominant religions. Christmas came to Japan in the 1800s by missionaries and the first recorded Christmas was celebrated in my home prefecture of Yamaguchi, at the southern end of the big island. That being said, Christmas is looked on as a romantic holiday, more akin to America’s Valentine’s Day.

Couples often have romantic dinners, take walks to enjoy the light displays, and give each other a gift of affection. Romance is in the cold winter air, there’s a reason WHAM’s Last Christmas and Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You are among the most popular Christmas songs. Christmas is somewhat romantic in America also. It’s a time for friends and family, visiting each other’s relatives, maybe even popping the question on that perfect sleigh ride. I spent my first Christmas in Japan alone, with my two feet tall fake tree and some DVDs. But it didn’t get me down. I decorated the tree just like I use to in America, listening to Amy Grant Christmas music and putting the presents mom had mailed me under the tree. Sure, I was alone. But by doing the same holiday traditions in Japan I had done in America, I brought a little piece of home with me. Was it a bad Christmas? No. Just different.

Presents are another staple of Christmas and here in Japan, even this is different. There is no Black Friday or Cyber Monday here; in fact, my wife (who is Japanese) had never heard of these terms before. There are Christmas sales at the store but there is no loud push for you to buy, buy, buy and get that last-minute shopping done. Most people, even children, get one or two presents. That’s it. Sure, some get more, but the norm seems to be one or two. And Santa (whom Japanese kids think lives in Finland or Norway, maybe Greenland) doesn’t put their presents under the tree, which is typically three feet high; he puts them beside their pillow or on the floor at the head of their bed.

When it comes to food, that may be the biggest difference. Turkey is almost non-existent in Japan, and even if they did live here, there is no way they would fit in an average sized oven. Most Japanese people I have met have never eaten turkey in their life; for them, chicken is close enough. KFC runs specials on absolutely gorgeous Christmas dinners for the family and eating KFC on Christmas is usual. But if an American can’t live without turkey or pumpkin pie on Christmas, the Japanese can’t live without their Christmas cake. Often white with strawberries on top (sometimes chocolate or buttercream flavored as well) these are a holiday staple everyone eats every year. Every store, food shop, and convenience store sells these cakes and most of the time you have to order them.

But what is truly missing from Christmas in Japan is the rush: the madness to shop, shop, shop, the stress of getting every family member a gift, driving from store to store looking for the best deal. Christmas is just another holiday here, slightly more important that others, but not the biggest. It’s for the couples, for the romantics, for the parents to show some love to their kids.

That’s what I love most about Christmas: love. Christmas is more about love than Valentine’s Day. It’s the love of Christians for Jesus Christ. It’s the love Santa has for children, wanting to make boys and girls happy. It’s the love of humanity helping each other. It’s a season to love and be loved. And the slowness the Japanese have about the season, the emphasis on romance, is what made me like Christmas even more.

Teaching junior high students about Christmas and discussing differing customs with Japanese people made me realize I can make my own Christmas. Here in Japan, I got to introduce Christmas the way I wanted it to be. I don’t look at my waist high tree as puny, I look at it as the tree my wife and I bought together. She enjoys American music and I was able to introduce my tradition of listening to Amy Grant while we decorate. Her parents are delighted that I give them gifts for Christmas. I’ve eaten Japanese Christmas cake and looked at the Christmas lights while holding hands with my wife. I’ve made my own Christmas here. And when you’re living apart from everything familiar and comforting to you, that’s what you have to do. Make it your own. No matter where you are, Christmas is where you make it.

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As always, thanks for reading and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Happy Thanksgiving

To all my followers who celebrate this holiday, Happy Thanksgiving.

This holiday doesn't exist in Japan. Every year my wife and I have a small Thanksgiving party with different friends. Most of them are Japanese who have never experienced this holiday.

Along with that, most of them have never had traditional thanksgiving food. That's right; I've met people in their 40s who have never eaten turkey. That meat hardly exists in Japan. Specialty stores and Costco are the only places I've seen it. Even cold cuts for sandwiches are pretty much non-existent here.

For our traditional food, we either order it online or get it sent from America. We spend the morning cooking, then eat in the afternoon. I explain what the holiday is for. For the most part, I and Yoko's holiday is a lot like it is in America: good food and good times with good friends.
Happy holidays, everyone.

Craft Fair

On Nov. 16, Yoko and I went to the Craft and Information Fair at the Marine base here in Iwakuni. It was the first time I had ever been there. It was nice, with about 20 booths selling handmade crafts such as jewelry, bags, photography services, and more. We went there primarily for two reasons: to buy our annual Christmas ornament, and to support a fellow author.

Jessica Guthrie has a home-based business in which she makes and sells crafts and scrapbooks. Yoko and I always buy a special ornament every year for our Christmas tree, usually in America. We couldn't go to America this year but I saw Jessica had some beautiful ornaments for sale so we bought one from her.

Nikki Bennett is an author on base and has written several YA books. She is the head of our writing group here in Iwakuni, I bought two books from her and she was kind enough to sign them and have her husband Steve illustrate the front page.

We had a great time and may attend the next fair.

Here is one of Jessica's websites: http://tenaciouslyremembered.blogspot.jp

Nikki Bennett: http://www.firedrakebooks.com

Book Review: The Sea Inside (Cerulean Songs #1) by Vickie Johnstone

From Goodreads: Book 1 in the Cerulean Songs series. 

Time is all we have; it flows – it cannot stop.

Jayne wakes up in hospital following a terrible accident, which changes her life as she knew it. While struggling to recover, she is visited by a mysterious woman who offers her a gift. To the girl’s astonishment, she finds herself on a journey, on both the physical and mental plane. It brings her to the mystical realm of Entyre, where life is very different and power lies with the creatures of the deep. While the threads of time keep flowing, Jayne must decide what is real, who to trust, and regain her inner strength in order to find herself and her true destiny.

Going into this book, I wasn't sure what to expect. What I got was a great start to a series that reminded me of The Neverending Story and Neil Gaiman.

As usual, I'll start with the bad. As I stated in my other book reviews, I don't like authors switching between third- and first-person narratives. Stick with one and use it. It wasn't as jarring in this book since we are with Jayne in the magical worlds for most of the book. As for Jayne herself, she really didn't do much for me. I like the fact she was paralyzed inane accident and developed a fear of water. She had much to overcome. I felt that she overcame her tasks a little easily but she was a friendly main character.

But if the main character was a plain Jayne (sorry, I couldn't resist) the worlds Johnstone created were anything but. While the repeated colors and description first annoyed me, I later appreciated them. Johnstone created vivid pictures in my mind of Entyre and the other worlds and her imagery made me want to visit those places. I imagined the magical atmosphere of Neverending Story with the colors and shapes of Tim Burton (without the creepiness). Cidanet, the talking dragonfly, seemed Gaiman-esque and was an interesting character.

The two halves of the book are very different, with Jayne in an underwater city then going on a magical adventure quest through various worlds. I really want to see how all these places fit together.

The Sea Inside is an enjoyable book.

Book Review: Retrospection by S.L. Wallace

A while ago I was asked to be a beta reader for S.L. Wallace. Here is my review for the finished version of her novella Retrospection. This is the official synopsis from Goodreads: "When Claire wakes up in the hospital, she discovers a stranger in her room who only she can see and hear. Learning Jhidhai's secrets will take her on a journey through both time and space. But Claire has secrets of her own—secrets that will lead her toward a destination she would never have imagined."

This was an enjoyable novella which is a series a vignettes. It switches from 3rd to 1st person POVs as Claire and Jhidhai relive memories. I wish the author had picked one POV and stuck with it throughout. Many books I have read recently use this switching technique and I don't like it. That's just a personal preference.

The memories we visit are mostly painful, there aren't many happy moments in this story but it isn't depressing. There is an undercurrent of resolve and strength, as if Wallace is telling us that all memories, even the bad ones, strengthen us. The vignettes are largely unconnected from each other and I wish there had been more of a through line or something to connect them more.

That all said, Wallace is a good author and this story is a quick enjoyable read that takes us to many times and places. We briefly experience the pains and joys of a multitude of characters and we remember that memories are precious things that need to be cherished and protected.

Get in touch with S.L. Wallace via Twitter or her website.

Book Titles

A while ago, a fellow author was asking friends for potential book titles for her novella. We chatted online and I mentioned that titles were difficult for me to come up with. After thinking about for a bit, though, I realized I was wrong. Titles are kind of easy for me. As to whether I will ever use them is a different matter.

Book titles aren't copyright protected. That's why some books have the same titles. Trademark protection is different; that's why your newest novel can't be called Harry Potter and (insert rest here). But phrases that are general, say One Moment In Time, is fair game.

Most of my title ideas come from other titles and song lyrics. If I'm going to use something like that, I make sure my work is of a different genre than what the original title came from. For example, I have a potential title: Beauty 7. This was originally the title of an old Japanese drama dealing with the lives of the employees and customers of a beauty salon. I think it would make a great title for a horror/mystery story about someone killing seven women for their body parts to create his idealized girlfriend. Same title, different genres.

If you have a certain set of lyrics or phrase you like, there is no problem using it. I write down titles as they come to me, sometimes I get an inspiration for an idea; most of the time the title just seems cool and I wait for a story that fits it. Even titles of TV episodes can be used.

If you're unsure about using a title for a book, possibly for legal reasons or it quite doesn't fit the story, think about saving it for a chapter heading. Not all chapters have to be Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and so forth. While thinking of a title for every chapter might be more difficult, it can help get you use to thinking about titles and you can use ones that you've been kicking around in your head but weren't quite sure about.

If some word or phrase strikes a chord with you, write it down. If you have an e-reader and a particular passage or turn of phrase catches your eye, highlight it. You never know when the right title will come along.

Book Review: Child Of The Loch by Elizabeth Delana Rosa

Child Of The Loch is a YA fantasy novel. Here is the official synopsis via Goodreads: "Twenty-three year accountant, J.J. McDonnell, has spent her life trying to be normal and hide her gifts, but all dreams of normalcy are dashed on her twenty-fourth birthday. A handsome man shows up on her porch with a marriage edict and news that the grandfather she has never met, has died. Her world is about to change forever. J.J. must make the perilous journey to the Loch and take her place on its throne. With no idea what is expected of her and dark forces closing in at every turn, will J.J. be able to accept her destiny or will she be stopped before she can?"

I really liked this book, which isn't a full-length novel but actually a novella to introduce Rosa's ongoing series. While it was intended/written as a YA novel, I felt it didn't quite come across as one. Most YA novels have teenagers making up the majority of the cast, while everyone in COTL are adults. But the style and pacing is for a YA novella and everything just felt rushed. There was so much in the book that could have been expanded on that it could have been an epic-length novel. I felt this book was almost a summary, there was so much that was told, not shown. It's an adult fantasy novel written in YA style but I think it should have been one or the other.

Take it as a good sign that I wanted a slower book, Rosa has built an interesting low-fantasy world that I wanted to explore more. J.J. was written as "a person first, a woman second" the author informed me and I think Rosa pulled it off really well. The story is told in the first person but I never got the impression I was reading a "girly" book. J.J. is smart, capable, unsure of herself, and more; I could easily see almost any gender or race telling the story. There are many characters that are unique and I wish we could have gotten to know them more.

COTL mostly deals with J.J. gathering allies for the upcoming war. She meets many new people and travels to different lands. There is a touch of everything for readers: action, romance, political intrigue, magic, and more.

I simply wish the book had been longer, mostly because I like a slow read and I'm not use to the fast-pace of YA novels. But I hope Rosa continues the series and we can learn more about the Loch and its world.

The eye-catching cover was created by the author herself. You can check out her review website Crimson Flower Reviews as well as her personal site.

Favorite Comic Book Artists

Like most kids, I got into comic books. At the beginning of my college life, I even wanted to be a comic book artist and was drawing quite a bit. I guess that was a way of telling myself I wanted to be a storyteller. Now I'm a writer but have recently been wanting to get back into reading comics. They have changed so much since the nineties, when I was really into them. But like most kids, a few artists have stuck with me. Below are some of the ones I loved as a kid and still do today.

Dan Jurgens
Working primarily for DC most of his career, Dan Jurgens created the heroes Booster Gold and Waverider, the iconic villain Doomsday (who killed Superman in the Death Of Superman storyline), as well as the Cyborg Superman. I was and still am a fan of Superman. He had four monthly titles going for him: Superman, Superman: Man Of Steel, The Adventures of Superman, and Action Comics. Superman artist Dan Jurgens was the first artist I remembering taking notice of. I liked his art more than the other three Superman artists, it was more heroic and well-drawn. He is the definitive Superman artist for me. You can follow him on Twitter.

Greg Capullo
On the complete flip side of Superman was Spawn. It took me a while to like Greg Capullo's work but it grew on me. His human characters seemed a bit cartoony but his angels and demons were realistic and dark, creating a nice contrast. His level of detail added to the grittiness of the title. Besides comic books, his art has adorned the covers of Korn's album Follow The Leader and Disturbed's Ten Thousand Fists. He has his own Facebook Page.

J. Scott Campbell
When Campbell said he wanted readers to experience the motion and thrill of a movie car chase on the printed page, he succeeded with Danger Girl. He is best known for Gen-13 and the unrealistic, oversexualized portrayals of female characters but his style was fun. He has the same detail and exciting energy of Brett Booth and Jim Lee but his art had a manga-esque whimsy to it. He has his own DeviantArt page

Brett Booth
Most of my favorite artists came from Image Comics, the company founded by six high profile artists  (Jim Lee, Rob Liefeld, Todd McFarlane, Marc Silvestri, Erik Larsen, and Jim Valentino) who left the Big Two (DC and Marvel) to found their own independent company. Brett Booth was an artist hired by Image and I was blown away by his level of detail and line work. His pieces were dynamic and rich. He also works as a paleoartist, drawing dinosaurs for various publications and websites. Check out his blog.

Rob Liefeld
Only recently have I gotten interested in Liefeld and I wish I had done so sooner. The creator of Deadpool and Cable, he is a love-him-or-hate-him guy. He has had rocky relationships with his Image partners and his self-taught art style is often ridiculed for its over-the-top anatomical proportions, large guns, and tiny misshapen feet. But he is fun. His stories and art are just like what a young kid wants to read and there is nothing wrong with that. He is the Michael Bay of the comic book world and he is entertaining, pure and simple. Rob Liefeld Creations is his website.

Jim Lee
If I had to pick one artist to admire, it would be Jim Lee. He penciled and co-wrote (with Chris Claremont) the series X-Men, whose first issue is the number one selling comic book of all time. He studied to be a doctor but became an artist and his art reflects his knowledge of human anatomy. His work is dynamic and detailed and he is a good storyteller as well. He created or co-created many of my favorite comic characters. The character in the picture is Fairchild. I managed to get this picture signed by him at DragonCon several years ago. One of my favorite characters signed by my favorite artist. Here is his fan page.

There you go everyone. I hope you enjoyed it. Who were some of your favorite characters and artists? As always, please comment below and thanks for reading.